"The Smartest Pig in the World" - Advice from Forest the Pig

When I was first asked to write an advice column, I was reluctant. You see, there are lots of smart pigs out there. Not to brag, but we are one of the 5 most intelligent species on this particular planet.  I'm sure that any number of pigs would be just as capable as I am, or more so, of waxing  didactic.

I was also uncomfortable with the title of the column. It is with more than a single grain of salt, test results notwithstanding, that I accept the term, "The smartest pig in the World." There are many different measures of intelligence, most of which are subjective, and/or prone to cultural bias.

I decided to accept the opportunity mostly because the request came from my dear friend, Mr. Artimus P. Phife, and also because there are fewer career options than you might expect for a pig of my station.

I look forward to your questions. But please remember that, due to a diplomatic issue which I cannot discuss, I am no longer licensed to dispense legal or medical advice in this country.

Sincerely,

Forest, "the Smartest Pig in the World"

Do you have a question for Forest?
Email you questions to: ForestThePig@gmail.com

I'll be napping while I wait.