Dear Forest,
I
have squirrels getting into my bird feeders and they're eating all the
seed I put out for my smaller bird friends. What should I do to keep
them out of the feeders?
Squirrel Magnet
 |
| Squirrels are notorious for crashing banquets, and for foiling attempts to make them stay away. |
Dear Mr. Magnet,
Many
religions declare that God gave humans dominion over the earth, making
them vicegerent in charge of plants, animals, mountains and oceans. Pigs
were initially short-listed for the job. But we lost out, only due to our lack of opposable thumbs. However, the inability of humans to outwit
the humble "tree rat," has caused some to wonder at the thought
processes behind that pivotal decision.
It
is important for humans to protect the valuable birdseed and suet from
the squirrels, since the rodents are voracious, and the contents of bird
feeders can be expensive. "It isn't chicken feed," as they say.
But squirrels are tenacious, and will assemble en masse for an easy feast. A feeding frenzy of squirrels is only slightly more decorous than gulls fighting over fast food.
But squirrels are tenacious, and will assemble en masse for an easy feast. A feeding frenzy of squirrels is only slightly more decorous than gulls fighting over fast food.
Simple
physical obstacles will have limited effectiveness, especially during
tough winters when food is scarce and squirrels are desperate.
Considering that squirrels have evolved to defend against powerful and agile predators of
the land and of the air, it seems ridiculous to think that they could be
stopped by a plastic bottle, a pie plate, or a slinky.
More violent measures, such as pellet guns or skeet launchers are also ineffective. Eliminating or discouraging one hungry opportunistic squirrel only seems to invite three more audacious, thrill-seeking, parkour acrobats to take its place.
Sly measures such as placing cayenne around or near the feeder does not take into account the adaptability of the squirrel palate. A friend of mine tried this approach once in order to protect the garden from pillaging rodents, only to one day see them rolling the vegetables in the stuff before eating.
As my tai chi teacher says, we must not merely respond to the attack, but to the energy, structure, motivation, and underlying cause of the attack. In the case of the squirrel, the attack may be the result of hunger, boredom, scarcity, feather envy, or some misunderstood cultural or religious prerogative. We should consider all options. To fail to comprehend the real cause of the problem is to invite doom...a squirrelageddon, if you will.
We have seen how global climate change has contributed to the rise of ISIS. I don't even want to imagine the horror of hordes of squirrels, deprived of natural food sources, launching coordinated attacks on bird feeders, barns, and storage sheds. It is terrifying to consider the madness of a marginalized group of squirrels committing atrocities, religious conversions, forced marriages, and acts of terrorism. But that is how some squirrels think, and they ruin things for all the other wild rodents who only want to live their lives in peace and harmony with all creatures.
So, my advice is to take care of the environment and the squirrels will take care of themselves. If you must take defensive action, do so in a way that protects without provoking. Skeet launchers and electric fences invite disaster. Such drastic measures can also inspire disproportionate reprisals.
Perhaps, in the interest of balance and harmony, we should not insist that any method be 100% effective.
The Bird House Nature Company has an online store and a location in downtown Orillia. They have a selection of cleverly engineered "squirrel-proof" and even "bear-proof" bird feeders. The also have the Squngee Squirrel Bungee Feeder, which takes into account that, as with many other species, squirrels often eat to distract themselves from a deeper emotional need.
Even this ingenious battery-powered squirrel spinner has limited effectiveness.
More violent measures, such as pellet guns or skeet launchers are also ineffective. Eliminating or discouraging one hungry opportunistic squirrel only seems to invite three more audacious, thrill-seeking, parkour acrobats to take its place.
Sly measures such as placing cayenne around or near the feeder does not take into account the adaptability of the squirrel palate. A friend of mine tried this approach once in order to protect the garden from pillaging rodents, only to one day see them rolling the vegetables in the stuff before eating.
As my tai chi teacher says, we must not merely respond to the attack, but to the energy, structure, motivation, and underlying cause of the attack. In the case of the squirrel, the attack may be the result of hunger, boredom, scarcity, feather envy, or some misunderstood cultural or religious prerogative. We should consider all options. To fail to comprehend the real cause of the problem is to invite doom...a squirrelageddon, if you will.
We have seen how global climate change has contributed to the rise of ISIS. I don't even want to imagine the horror of hordes of squirrels, deprived of natural food sources, launching coordinated attacks on bird feeders, barns, and storage sheds. It is terrifying to consider the madness of a marginalized group of squirrels committing atrocities, religious conversions, forced marriages, and acts of terrorism. But that is how some squirrels think, and they ruin things for all the other wild rodents who only want to live their lives in peace and harmony with all creatures.
So, my advice is to take care of the environment and the squirrels will take care of themselves. If you must take defensive action, do so in a way that protects without provoking. Skeet launchers and electric fences invite disaster. Such drastic measures can also inspire disproportionate reprisals.
Perhaps, in the interest of balance and harmony, we should not insist that any method be 100% effective.
The Bird House Nature Company has an online store and a location in downtown Orillia. They have a selection of cleverly engineered "squirrel-proof" and even "bear-proof" bird feeders. The also have the Squngee Squirrel Bungee Feeder, which takes into account that, as with many other species, squirrels often eat to distract themselves from a deeper emotional need.
Sincerely,
Sincerely,
Forest, "the Smartest Pig in the World"
Do you have a question for Forest?
Email you questions to: ForestThePig@gmail.com
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